Alleviating Stress
Working with Stress Through Mindfulness
We have all experienced stress in our lives. It can arise when we feel overwhelmed by the amount of work we have to do, when life feels uncertain or traumatic, or when we are asked to do something unfamiliar such as speaking in front of an audience.
Stress can also arise when we are not in a stressful situation. We might be enjoying a coffee with a friend when a thought suddenly appears about a deadline next week. That thought can trigger an unpleasant feeling, which then feeds further worries and anxious thinking. Before we know it, the mind has carried us away from the present moment. We may be physically with our friend, but mentally we are already immersed in the problem, perhaps even cutting the meeting short.
In these moments, it is not necessarily the original thought that causes the most difficulty. It may be the way we relate to it. We can magnify it, treat it as urgent, and give it authority over our attention and behaviour. A thought about something that needs doing becomes something that appears to require our immediate emotional involvement.
A certain amount of stress can, of course, be motivating. It can help us prepare, meet a deadline or respond to a challenge. However, when stress becomes frequent or overwhelming, it can affect our health and make it more difficult to pay attention, solve problems and regulate our emotions.
So how might mindfulness help?
Through practising mindfulness meditation, we learn to tune into and observe bodily sensations, thoughts, states of mind and emotions. Over time, we may become more sensitive to the early signs of stress. We begin to notice the subtle thoughts, feelings and external triggers that can work together to create a stressful experience.
Perhaps we notice the tightening in the stomach when we open an email, or the quickening of thoughts when we look at a long list of tasks. Perhaps we realise that a particular conversation, place or time of day tends to trigger worry. Seeing these patterns more clearly can give us a little more choice in how we respond.
If we notice the process early, we may be able to interrupt it before it gathers momentum. This does not mean that difficult thoughts or feelings will disappear. Nor does it mean that genuine problems can simply be meditated away. It means that we may be less likely to become immediately caught up in the story the mind is telling.
Mindfulness can also help us see things more as they are, rather than embellishing them with qualities they do not necessarily have. Have you ever put off a task because it seemed too onerous, only to find that, in reality, it took five minutes? The mind can turn an ordinary task into something far larger and more threatening than it really is.
A simple practice for stressful moments
Try this exercise when you notice stress beginning to arise:
Pause and notice what has triggered the stressful thought or feeling. It may be an email, a conversation, an image, a memory or something you are anticipating.
Notice the thoughts that follow. Rather than treating them as facts or instructions, see whether you can recognise them simply as thoughts.
Bring your attention to the body. Where do you feel the stress most clearly? It may show up as tightness in the chest, tension in the shoulders, a knot in the stomach or heat in the face.
Allow the breath to be gentle and natural. If it feels helpful, imagine breathing in and out of the centre of the bodily feeling.
Bring an attitude of kindness and gentleness to yourself. You do not need to force the feeling away. Simply acknowledge that this is difficult, and allow yourself to be with it for a few moments.
With practice, you may find that giving the feeling this kind of attention softens its intensity and helps calm the mind. You may then be able to see the situation more clearly and respond more skilfully.
Mindfulness is not about removing all stress from life. Some stress is unavoidable, and some situations require practical action, support or change. But by learning to notice stress as it begins to take shape in the mind and body, we can create a little more space between what happens and how we respond.